Big Girls Do Cry… the series – part 3


BIG GIRLS DO CRY… Part 3 – rachel

In the spirit of isolation, I want to share something I’ve been learning about myself in recent weeks.

The ideal of ‘perfection’

In the spirit of isolation, I want to share something I’ve been learning about myself in recent weeks. Now this is something I’ve known about myself for a while, but not something I’ve ever really addressed, or dealt with… it’s that “will I ever be like them?” feeling.

Now my anxiety here stems from my professional life, but I’m sure you can relate on some level. Because there’s no doubt we’ve all felt this at one time or another.

We as women put so much pressure on ourselves, constantly striving for ‘perfection’. And right now, with all this extra time on our hands and social media at our fingertips, this ideal is out of control. Women are constantly posting exhausting exercise videos, amazing cooking creations, or beautifully clean homes. We’re expecting so much more of ourselves just because we now have the time.

For me, it’s seeing the professional achievements of others splashed all over social media that causes me to struggle with this ideal. Let me put it into perspective… I work in a field where knowledge is power, but just take a moment to think about how big the health field really is. I don’t know about you but thinking about it makes me feel dizzy. Even though I know it causes me stress, I find myself worrying about this same thing daily and questioning “Will I ever be as good as those I idolise?”.

Then the self-deprecation begins in which I follow up on my mentors and those I idolise to see what they’re doing, and of course it only makes things worse. They’re unfathomably knowledgeable, beautiful, powerhouse women that make everything look easy. Sound familiar?

It wasn’t until I saw this on Facebook (of all places!) that I was stopped in my tracks:

If you don’t come out of this quarantine with:

-A new skill

-Your side hustle started

-More knowledge

You are doing just fine

This one inspirational posting helped me realise that even though I have the extra time, I don’t have to be perfect. And for the last few weeks when I feel myself spiralling into that self-sabotaging, envious ideal of perfection, I stop, and I remind myself of that post. I’m now learning to remind myself that I’m human. I’m learning to remind myself that I’m not behind, and I’m right where I should be. That I know more than I give myself credit for, and that it’s okay to want more. All I can ask of myself is to do just a little better each day.

These are the things I want you to take from this. And no matter where your ideal of ‘perfection’ comes from, remind yourself daily of the last line of that post… You are doing just fine.